i whip my hair back n forth

write on

ok i believe it is time to officially do this blog right. looking back now i can see how much of an insomniac-ish haze i was in....errrr. so much for genius.

maybe this time i can spell then and than correctly. wish me luck. suckas.

flashy flashy lights

i guess every super hero need his theme music

this right here is my new swag

blog roll

by Jordan Elyse Wiley on Friday, November 5, 2010 at 8:20am

Welcome back folks | flashy flashy lights…eerrr pages of paper wildly scribbled on – same diff Cause like my favorite man on the mic who’s now in the slamma hamma says ‘this is my theme park what should I scream for’ weezy

Check the marquee | Take a mental pic – ‘click click’ | Now Vogue

okie dokie, well- that felt pretty good, im not gonna lie… Today’s lesson: focus

So one of my favorite things to do with myself…is reflect. Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not really sure how or why my writing began 13 years ago. 13 wow. This really is turning into a memoir. Focus. Anywho – writing like this anyway….to myself and now whoever is bored enough to actually pain their way through the incoherence of my conversations with my mind... Hey it makes sense to me. - That’s just special. And cool. I imagine it’s something many people we now consider to be ‘great’ once did too. Jea! Point Team Wiley.

In as all serious as I’m capable of right now- it has been a while….2009 was nothing short of a – I’m not really finding the words to define it. It was insanity. Chaos. Albeit remotely managed chaos but wow. I still have a hard time truly comprehending that was MY life.

Whether I’m writing in search of clarity, or on the brink of that newfound insight, or I’m going through something I can’t handle on the surface – it’s always interesting to me where I am at in my head 10 months after I put my thoughts down on paper –and then typed them lol. It’s even more fun and embarrassing to go back 6 or 8 years. No it’s awful…

one detail always remains the same: that I was such a little girl at the time and in true character I thought I had everything figured out; usually dramatic or intense in some ‘my- life- as- a- movie’ kinda way.

I wrote it once. I’m sure I’ll write it again when I’m 30.

Memory is an unreliable narrator.

But who caresssssss papaha. I love my life. Sometimes I wish it would get easier but I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s never going to and holy gasp batman! I’m actually starting to put together the lessons I’ve collected with age and use them to my advantage. So strange.

upgrade yaaaaaa

i have a new blog but yall aint ready for it yet. is that a kfed song. sick. needless to say this page hasnt been updated in a year. i just want to congratulate myself for having the lamest profile ever. ever. but i cant bring myself to delete it bc its too awesome. haha. i need to remember the version of me. ahhh reflection. ur my only friend. k time to jump 

we think youre a joke shove your hope where it dont shine

holy bageeezies it is cold. karissa and i knew madre earth was up to something....

so on the twelveth day of...that spelling cant be right haha. is it. oh well even my uncertainty is a clear indication that my once upon a time ability to school all you motha brothers in a little competition amongst friends known as 'the bee' has lost its juice. but gawd i was the spelling champ. own it. haha

anywhichway- where or where to begin. i think its goes without saying or saying.... im back in full effect. probably worse. it has been so long since ive a-been compelled to sit down and write, b- been able to sit down and focus my minds enormous channel of thought. the remote vanished. 

maybe my moms ahem quick wit rubbed off on me when i went home. sikeeeee. maybe she slash home slash its west virginia resurrected the smartass wit spittin word kickin hittin flippin. yeah no good. what can i say: winter sabbatical.

when in doubt blame it on the rainnnnnn oh oh. oh the relentless cycle of the seasons. go earth. this year i get to garden. 

nice last spring i was looking forward to the worlds longest slip n slide this year tomatoes and sunflowers.

bitchin.

if you havent caught on yet it is now 2010. dun dun daaaaaaa 

present day and time

insert the tik tick tick tick from an episode of 24 for dramatic effect

march 13 5:31 AM

what dude. yes its a saturday. but really, are you the least bit surprised. h e double ll no.

i am trying so hard not to go off into tangents of the rambling thought in my head right now, 

thats been todays primary goal. FOCUS, train your mind. it has to be done. i cant take it anymore. more to come. too much for my morning....especially after yesterday. 

back to back to back to back consumption of me by others. im not complaining. i just need my alone time. 

either i have a severely severe case of only child syndrome and/or am i a huge lone ride or die kid orrrrrrr i just really love myself that much. lol. that was kind of a joke, more sarcastic. maybe it was narcissistic. blah blah. probably. 

forest. aj equals fun. real time with ellie and jordan. haha. love it. my old soul drop dead gorgeous little itty bitty kk. the plethora of modesty we will call salzbra. i dont even know what to say about cole today. wow. holy mood storm. the way he is most of the time could literally clear a room. it pretty much does every time. tonight was ridiculous. then there was the ghost of bad decision makings past and his incessant drunk texting. i mean im honestly indifferent to the situation its just kind of nervy for lack of a better word. like really do you think you possess some kind of special charisma that wipes all the douche you embody from the surface. aaaaaant. wrong. we will see. this week has been kind of overwhelming. 

im surprisingly calm and pretty clear headed. i feel like my old self again. 

although professionally im not really sure where im at in my head. lackluster is all that comes to mind when i only even begin to attempt to describe it. 

as for the ruiner of lives. yeah hes still a small fragment of my life i guess. if you can call the little dialogue we do have actual communication. when a person still does the same sucky things hes always done over and over and over again though its pretty easy to throw up the my give a damns busted card and emotionally check out - and thats what i call over-reaching, 

he told me today....well he messaged me and i was in the shower. he said something to the degree of these are my last words to you- be he threw a fit i wasnt responding. god forbid i dont sit on my laptop and wait to talk to him. holy might as well get suicidal yeah right. he said- get f*cked,

we will end this for now on that note. get f*cked. im dying to know what that says ab him as a person. on all levels of the psychiatric spectrum.

much more to come today. im just incredibly bored of typing and being on the computer. time to exercise. 3 boxes of icecream. paaaaaaahaha. 

over and out. VIVERE. mount up.

wiley out xo